Ecstatic Play - New Beginnings
How to Fulfil Your Promise
The outline program for a TWO DAY WORKSHOP Ecstatic Play - New Beginnings
“Luck is when opportunity meets the prepared mind.”
Personal development for power, wisdom, knowledge and deep connections with other people
Destiny is a wave of possibilities and limitations. Your point of view, perceptions and where you pay attention let you surf to where want and need to be to be happy, powerful and deeply connected.
The Advert -
THE OUTLINE -
These are questions to answer and strategies to apply if you want to have a new beginning to fulfil your promise as a person… Print this to answer them if you want to work alone or before coming to the workshop
1. What do you want? This isn't as simple as you might think. If it was you'd be there already. First questions to answer using your imagination and memory will give you away of knowing where you stand on your journey as you create the life you want. For more detail explore these sub-questions.
What is a successful, fulfilling life for you?
Who are you in that life?
What are the ethics you want to live by?
How will your relationships work in that life?
What does it feel like, look like, sound like?
Maybe pick a day in that life and imagine what the routine of that day would feel, look, sound, even smell or taste like?
2. What is it in you life that you most want to change? Prioritise the issues you want change. Here's the process. Make a list, a brainstorm of things you'd like to change, free form in no particular order. Then organise them two different ways. First, what are the most important problems you have? The ones that you feel most influential in your life. Next re-write the list along a spectrum from easy to difficult to change.
3. So how do you get that lifestyle? Know who you are and what you are capable of with brutal honesty, then be the cause of the changes that will let you take charge of your self so you can become who you want to be. This doesn't mean you are a great magician who is the cause of everything that happens in your life, or that you can transform yourself into a superhero. Even they have to work WITH the laws of the universe and of spirit, of Gods/Goddesses (if these are important to you). So to start with explore what you have choice with - breathing is a great metaphor and reality for how choice works in our lives. You must breath. But you have choice about how you do it. You can just let breathing happen with no consciousness. Or you can consciously control how, where, what and timing of it. You can even have a sense of who you are emotionally when breath. It is a marriage of freedom and limitation, that is life.
Right now you may not have control of how you react emotionally, but you will have them. You can recognise that you have choice in how you behave in response to the feelings you have. You can't control other people but you can influence with them. You can do this by working with the laws on mind body and their relationship.
There are many ways you can effect your reflex emotional responses, how you see yourself, how other people experience you and take advantage of the situations you meet. Hypnotherapy, Neurolinguistic Programing (NLP), Buddhist psychology and other psychotherapies, mindfulness as part of a self-reflection process, and experiences that change your point of view of yourself, on life and the world, that empower you. Ritual is one of these experiences that can deeply change you. This is what we aim to do with out workshop.
To do this the best option is to be realistic about how you can change your life. As the saying/prayer goes:
“God/spirit/experience grant me the serenity,
To accept the things I cannot change;
Courage to change the things I can;
And wisdom to know the difference.”
You can take different routes to change. There are two ways to work from the outside inwards.
You can fake it until you make it. In NLP they say act “as if...” you are already the way you want to be.
Or, you can put yourself in different situations and adapt. This could include finding mentors and models you relate to and copy. NLP will let you analyse how they do things so as to get inside their head to use their ways of thinking, feeling and knowing to get where you want to be.
This last is "outward going inward" meets the "inward to the outwards" approach to getting the life you want.
On the basis of the honest appraisal of yourself and your processes for doing, perceiving and knowing, you model the very fundamentals of achieving anything – the thought and perception processes that underlie greatness. This is where change starts, in your internal life, and how it interacts with your external world.
The power comes when you learn how to sit at the creative centre of your life, the cause of who you are and how you interrelate with your life. This is a practical step by step process.
Waiting passively for life to come to you, going with the flow [of nature, of spirit, of whatever] will only take you so far. Even those people who are successful and talk about it as if it happened easily, by luck and coincidence, usually work hard at being who they want to be. The saying mentioned above comes to mind “Luck in when opportunity meets the prepared mind.”
They don't notice the hard work because it is fun for them. Fun is the easiest way to do hard work, to make wealth (depending on how you define it), to meditate, to do trance and to experience altered states of mind/spirit, (if that part of your target life) to beauty whatever that means to you. Of course there are people who need to feel struggle, to feel the sense of achievement and thus deserve it, but that can be changed with awareness, understanding and the right actions.
4. How do you get to be the cause of your life, the power in it? The first and easiest exercise is promise-keeping - Literally fulfil your promise. This is how you develop yourself your will. Depending on what works for you, you start by keeping your word to yourself and/or to those you love, like and respect, even to those you dislike or are enemies. A promise is your word, you get in the habit of doing what you say you are going to do. At first it will mean holding back on your more fanciful wishes and desires and only saying what you know for sure you can do. But before long your word will take on the power of actions. Your words will effect the world because they will effect how you participate in and perceive the world.
How do you keep promises? If you say you are going somewhere you go and be there on time. To do this you need honest self-knowledge, so that you distinguish between what feels good right now and what you know you are motivated and skilled to do in the big story of who you are in your future. You need to think strategically about what may happen that might block (and allow for these possibilities) with you achieving your goals. See 7 stage systematic approach.
5. Remember that almost everything you want comes through people.Gather a tribe of fellow travelers who both agree and disagree with you, who hold very different points of view and back you up. So you can be supported by variety and difference in a way that challenges you to look at the biggest picture. Even if you live in the wilderness, a hermit away from people, the knowledge you use to live and survive will have come from someone or other. And that choice maybe out of resisting people you find to be a problem. This is still relating to them even in the conflict and/or their absence. Reflect on how you relate to people: -
How you give and show trust and respect? How do you know you are trusted and respected, in the way other people act?
How do you love? How do you express it? How do know you are loved?
How do you feel about and treat people in general?
How do treat people you depend on?
How do you treat subordinates and superiors, people who depend on you?
How you exchange value? What is your attitudes to negotiating value? e.g. are you looking to get money by manifesting it without giving value? Do you seek to win at any cost?
What are the values you want to live by? (50 words or less) Are these the same as happen by reflex when interacting with people, when stressed? Is there conflict between how you believe you should behave and how you actually behave?
How do you feel about your body and its needs and wants, it pleasures?
What are your sources of power, your strengths and weaknesses? How do you move people around you to get what you want? Do you ask people directly and negotiate with them what you do together? Or do you strategise and think through in advance, or go with the flow, improvising? Do you use either your pains, discomforts, disabilities, needs to get people to do things your way?
6. Get to know yourself and how other people work. Learn to listen and learn. It is impossible not to communicate, everything you, every human does is a communication whether conscious or not. Listen with your whole body and mind [and spirit, if that makes sense to you]. Listen and learn what people, including yourself, are saying behind the words. Listen to body language, listen to the assumptions that stand behind what you are saying and what they are saying. Listen to the metaphors they use to talk about what is going on for them inside. Remember words and sentences are not just air vibrating to communicate what in the dictionary. We shape them to suit the moment shared.
7. Check your meaning of what you hear from others is accurate. Each of us uses words and acts from within our own experience, our own perceptions. So no matter what language we share each of us is using it in our own way. Words have images and feelings around and behind them like the wave a boat creates going through the ocean. These nonverbal, metaphorical, emotional elements colour the dictionary meanings to suit the in the moment meaning you are sharing. Listening means not assuming that your understanding of what they are saying is right. Ask by paraphrasing, by feeding back their exact words, metaphors to check your perceptions. Phrase what you want them to hear, your meaning in their languages using their metaphors and stories, if you want them to hear you.
7. Power only exists in relationship, it's a mutual experience.Power equals moving and changing people and things. How do you get people to do what you want? What emotions do you use to move people – fair exchange, desire (giving or withholding people what they want – say money. lifestyleor whatever, maybe sex), fear (by bullying, threats to take away something desired like say sex, money, livelihood), guilt, shame? For humans it comes out of emotions. How you participate in power expresses your values and for people and yourself which lie in your unconscious until you are in the right situation. Only then will you become aware of how that foundation, of how power works for you. The great thing about imagination is that it recreates the world as we want it to be, as we represent it to ourselves and as we understand it to be based on experience and inherited knowledge from our cultures personal and societal. Your fantasies can tell a lot about how you actually and how you want to participate in power. When thinking, fantasizing about your goals your lifestyle what role do other people play in it? Are they simple tools or resources for you getting what you want? Are they reproductions of real people, with characters, or just empty vessels, caricatures? How do you experience these fantasies for desires, goals wishes? Are they visual, voices, feelings? How do they integrate, that is the interrelation and interaction between the senses in your imaginings? E.g Fantasies starting with visualising actions leading to feelings and hearing voices and/or sounds in your head or hearing inner voices leading to feelings then maybe visuals the order will be unique to each person. How do sub-modalities fit into each of these?
9. How do you react to limitations, to the unknown, to being out of control, to unexpected events?When people close to you behaviour or express opinions that surprise you how do you react, feel? How do you manage watching the news? What happens when you are in stressed because someone of importance in your life, work, intimate relationships etc. are asking you to things you don't want to do or you find difficult? How are you in emergencies? How do you feel and behave when you feel overwhelmed by intense emotions – love, rage, anxiety, sadness even happiness? How do you manage your feeling and experience of death? How do you feel about your body it's needs, and emotional neediness in yourself and others?